I don’t remember his exact words however I remember the pain that followed. Then I thought to myself, how can this be? Did I have it wrong, I thought “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”.
Over the years there has been much worse things said to me, and some not as personal. Regardless of how many letters they had or how thought out they were, those words hurt.
I get it, the phrase that is. Kids are mean, and hurt people hurt people. All adults want is for kids to understand that regardless of what people may say, you decide. But that’s just it, we are impacted by others. Good and bad, the adults want to impact us in a positive way by saying negative words spoken can never hurt you, and others know that the quickest way to hurt you is with a few simple words.
Just because it is my choice whether or not I believe the negative things spoken doesn’t mean the words themselves don’t hurt.
Over the years I allowed hurtful words spoken to me to accumulate and fester. Others opinions of me quickly became my opinion of myself and had me searching for outlets. Self harm, addiction and depression were places I called home. Unable to build on the positive things people said to me I continued to self destruct. Over the years have come to an understanding of the role that words spoken, play in my life.
Words hurt, period! Its ok, you are not weak because someone you love or someone you don’t even know lashes out verbally at you. It’s like a cut, you don’t decide if it hurts, you got cut, it hurts. However you decided whether you are going to take care of that cut or not. You can choose to let it bleed, get infected, scab pick and scar. Or you can address it, clean it up, but a band-aid on it and help it heal. For so long I allowed those hurtful words to bleed, they infected my mind, heart and life. If I ignored it long enough it would scab, only to be torn open by someone else drawing attention to the same issue. They have left scars, physical and emotional ones.
I have decided that enough is enough! When words hurt, I will not let them go unnoticed. Call me a sissy, call me emotional and to in touch with my feelings, those words only give me practice, and make me better at not letting words impact my future. People that have super negative things to say to others have probably been on the other side, I pity them. I hope that they are able to overcome their issues, but I will not give them a voice in my future.
This being said, I need to put the same amount of attention on this as I do with making sure that my words are not someone else’s scar.
Please think before you speak, and think before you listen. The more we shed light on this issue the more likely this debilitating rhyme will go dark.
Words Matter. You Matter.
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