From time to time I like to sit back and reflect on my life and daily choices that I make. I often compare past choices with the choices that I now make everyday, distinguishing differences between motives and influence.
Particularly one area that grabs my attention is media influence. Being young, and coming from a background of dealing drugs and partying, I often reflect on what the influences were that led me to make choices in such a life of destruction. Like many others, I was vulnerable as a teen without even realizing it.
So like most teens, I was drawn to what is “popular” or “cool”. I recall turning on the television to the “younger” stations such as MTV, BET, VH1, etc. I was drawn to the music videos with girls, money, everyone looking happy and having a good time. Reality shows such as Jersey Shore as being what life is about. Being young and enjoying what they portrayed to be living life to fullest.
Don’t get me wrong, some of these things can be entertaining in moderation, but I wasn’t aware of how allowing my head to be filled with them would soon consume me in the fantasy of a false reality of what life is about. Playing women as defining what is a man or being cool, having nice material things as being “successful”, and in some cases selling drugs as being a “boss”.
In April of 2012, I was busted for trafficking cocaine, and once all of the above was stripped from me, I was forced with the reality of being a lost soul. I remember looking into the mirror asking myself “Who am I?” Who am I without the attitude of being tuff or invisible, the fancy truck with rims, pocket full of money, party full of girls? The thought of just being myself without these things scared me, as I felt I would be rejected if I revealed who I really was underneath.
I’ve dug deep… past the fronts of what a lot of young society views as “cool” or “acceptable”. Who I am today is still being figured out as it’s a life process. Now, I can say that I influence others through love, kindness, and respect. These things define who I am. I have made changes in my life to be true to myself. Standing bold against everything I use to stand for. Doing what I can to make a difference changing what society views as “cool”. Standing for a positive message with Know the Truth, encouraging youth to be mindful of daily choices in life. #beyou